Business

Is Perseverance Toxic?

A founder had an extraordinary business. By any external measure they were hugely “successful”.


And yet, they’d hit a low point. They’d driven out for dinner and drinks then woken up at home in the morning. They walked outside and saw their car parked in the drive. They couldn’t remember how it got there. Couldn’t remember driving it home.


They’d been persevering at work, despite not enjoying it, for years. It was costing them enormously – physically, emotionally and in their relationships. They’d had enough. They’d decided it was time to go, they just needed to figure out how.


We had conversations about it. Where had the enjoyment gone? How would they navigate the transition out? What would they do next?


One day, they mentioned generosity a few times.


“What does generosity mean to you?”


They leaned forward.


“That was the time I travelled overseas to help in a charity. 


And, now you mention it, we used to have monthly events in the business where we’d bring in a local charity and raise money. We haven’t done that for years.


If we were to do that again it would be a growth strategy for us.


It would also be a great defensive strategy. The landlord at one of our locations is trying to kick us out. It would be much harder for them to do that if we had the local community onboard.


Actually… Can we go for a walk?”


The energy shifted. For 90 minutes we walked by the river, revisiting very specific behaviours in their past that brought generosity to life. Could generosity be brought back into the business and their day moving forward?


That was the switch. From throwing it all in, to not just sticking with it, but growing the business to increase their impact. Big time.


There was the performance conversation scheduled for that afternoon, leading and managing hundreds of staff, challenging conversations required with business partners, figuring out a new org structure to handle the growth…


The challenge, the effort, the adversity – none of that had changed.


But their relationship to it had.


Quite suddenly, the perseverance was in service of something more.


Generosity.

Broken Glass

Before we go further, there’s a hypothetical I’d like you to consider.


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I smash glass on the floor in front of you.


I ask: “Would you be willing to walk over the glass in bare feet?”


“No thanks.”


So I change just one condition – same smashed glass, same bare feet.


Now I ask you to bring to mind the person most important to you in the world. They are in distress on the other side of the glass and they need your help.


Then I ask: “Would you now be willing to walk over the glass in bare feet?”


Typically there is the opposite response.


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What does the change in response show?


It shows that humans are terrible at suffering pointless pain. But, when we are clear about the importance of what it is on the other side of the pain, we won’t just endure it, we’ll embrace it.


The pain doesn’t change, but our relationship to it does. We are now willing to accept it in service of doing what matters to us.


The broken glass is a great metaphor for the thoughts, feelings and physiological sensations that show up in tough situations like stay/leave decisions or sitting in the void of transitions, or asking a “dumb question”, or challenging a boss, or holding someone to account, or speaking up, or stepping in…


Very rarely do we lack information about what to do in these situations or even how to approach them.


Nearly always we need to understand the importance of why we would attempt them in the first place.

Themes of Importance

When I reflect on the specifics of the founder conversation, I see a few themes:

  1. They reconnected to a core value: Generosity.

  2. They were immediately able to reflect on their past and point to specific behaviours and events when they felt they were bringing that to life. These were times of high energy and high impact that truly nourished them.

  3. They could see Generosity play out across multiple areas of their life: work, giving, travel, relationships etc.

  4. It was not about changing who they were or adding something new. If anything it was a realisation that one of their core values had been buried. Now that it was uncovered, it was time to bring it back to guide behaviour.

  5. As such, they were immediately able to see how it might be consciously brought back into present and future contexts and exactly what that would look like as behaviours or words in a conversation.

Persevere or Not?

I was asked recently what percentage of people choose to stay and what choose to go in these kinds of situations. I don’t know. And I’m not sure it’s useful to know – everyone’s circumstances are different.


I’ve found the more useful questions to ask myself are:

  1. What is truly important here?

  2. What is the short term pain, long term benefit of this decision?

  3. What is the short term benefit, long term cost of this decision?

As the serenity prayer goes:


Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.


I’ve felt the cost of persevering and have seen it in many others, regardless of how shiny the veneer or how many trophies in the cabinet.


I’ve seen people slowly lose themselves as they hung onto jobs, relationships, businesses, identities that buried their most important qualities and values.


I’ve grown up in a culture that said quitting was for losers.


I’ve grown up in a culture where the stories of perseverance in the face of adversity are celebrated and rightfully so. People are extraordinary.


But how often do we stop to consider the costs of perseverance? On ourselves, on our health, on the people around us, on what is truly important to us?


If perseverance is solely for its own sake or for the sake of ticking the next box, then I say hell yes. It’s toxic.


If perseverance is in service of values, of impact, of contribution, of something more important, then I’m all for it.

Humanising – the real value of Real Time

Real Time Marketing and PR“Our people are our greatest asset.”

“Our differentiator is our relationships.”

“Product X is great but it’s our people and our culture that really makes the difference.”

“Our competitors could walk into this place and look around. They can even copy everything we do, but they can’t copy our culture or our people.”

Have you ever heard these statements? I have. Many times.

David Meerman Scott (in Real Time Marketing and PR) has nailed a fundamental shift in communication:

…the web has actually brought communication back full circle to where we were a century ago… communication is once again real, personal and authentic… word of mouth has regained its historic power…

Humanise your company.

If you believe these statements, if you truly believe them, then place your trust in your people and culture, and let them wow the world. Give them the tools – Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and whatever else is next – to share that very same culture and grow those same relationships – in real time.

If your people and culture can’t be copied then surely that is the one thing you can fearlessly make public.

88 tips for business – Rework reworked (a reminder list)

Rework book coverRework is a string of 88 short essays by Jason Fried and David Heinmeier Hansson – the founders of 37signals.com (we are big fans of their products Highrise, Basecamp, Campfire and Backpack at Bluewire Media).

It’s a gem, so I thought I’d write a one line summary of the 88 to remind me.

If you don’t want to read the lot, here’s the themes I took out of it:

  1. Never accept the status quo/age old wisdom/rule of thumb without seriously asking “Why?”
  2. Simplify [I really like Jason Fried’s Twitter credo: It’s simple until you make it complicated]
  3. Break BIG into small
  4. Be personal and real

For those who want the details…

Rework reminder list:

First:

  1. The new reality: You don’t have to work 80hr weeks in an office – you can work from anywhere in the world with people from all over the world.

Takedowns:

  1. Ignore the real world: “That would never work in the real world” is an excuse.
  2. Learning from mistakes is overrated: “When something succeeds, you know what worked – and you can do it again.”
  3. Planning is guessing: Contemplate the future, but don’t obsess about it – there are far too many variables to accurately predict it.
  4. Why grow?: Maybe the right size for your company is 5/40/100.
  5. Workaholism: “The real hero is already home because she figured out a faster way to get things done.”
  6. Enough with “entrepreneurs”: “You just need an idea, a touch of confidence, and a push to get started.”

Go:

  1. Make a dent in the universe: Make a difference
  2. Scratch your own itch: Solve your own problem.
  3. Start making something: Ideas are abundant, execution is what counts.
  4. No time is no excuse: If you really want something, you’ll make time.
  5. Draw a line in the sand: Know what you do and know what you don’t do.
  6. Mission statement impossible: Your actions speak much louder than your words.
  7. Outside money  is Plan Z: Spending other people’s money has a noose attached.
  8. You need less than you think: How would you do it with $0 to spend?
  9. Start a business, not a startup: All businesses, sooner or later, have to make a profit.
  10. Building to flip is building to flop: “You need a commitment strategy, not an exit strategy.”
  11. Less mass: Lean business = responsive, quick to change and flexible.

Progress:

  1. Embrace constraints: Constraints force creativity
  2. Build half a product, not a half-assed product: “Getting to great starts by cutting out the stuff that’s merely good”.
  3. Start at the epicenter: Begin with the stuff you have to do.
  4. Ignore the details early on: Get the big picture right first – details will come later.
  5. Making the call is making progress: “Decide and move forward.”
  6. Be a curator: “It’s the stuff you leave out that matters.”
  7. Throw less at the problem: Trim down the problem first.
  8. Focus on what won’t change: Timeless desires, not what’s hot and new.
  9. Tone is in your fingers: Equipment is often a crutch and never a shortcut.
  10. Sell your by products: Spot by-products and see opportunities.
  11. Launch now: Additional features can come later.

Productivity:

  1. Illusions of agreement: Get real with your ideas – draw, build, hum.
  2. Reasons to quit: Keep asking: “Why am I doing this?”, “Is there an easier way?”
  3. Interruption is the enemy of productivity: Switch everything off and get more alone time.
  4. Meetings are toxic: Agenda, set a timer, few people, be specific, have action items.
  5. Good enough is fine: Maximum result with minimum effort.
  6. Quick wins: Smaller tasks + more frequent celebrations!
  7. Don’t be a hero: Ask for help before investing more time.
  8. Go to sleep: It helps.
  9. Your estimates suck: Break big projects into small projects.
  10. Long lists don’t get done: Make smaller ones and prioritise visually.
  11. Make tiny decisions: “Small decisions mean you can afford to change”.

Competitors:

  1. Don’t copy: You can’t lead by copying.
  2. Decommoditise your product: Pour yourself into your product and everything around it.
  3. Pick a fight: Taking a stand always stands out
  4. Underdo your competition: What you don’t do is just as important as what you do.
  5. Who cares what they’re doing?: Set your own parameters.

Evolution:

  1. Say no by default: But don’t be a jerk about it.
  2. Let your customers outgrow you: Stay true to a type of customer rather than an individual customer.
  3. Don’t confuse enthusiasm with priority: Write your idea down, wait a few days, then evaluate priority.
  4. Be at-home good: Your product needs to get better with use.
  5. Don’t write it down: Listen to your customers, they’ll keep reminding you when something really matters.

Promotion:

  1. Welcome obscurity: You can take more risks/test more options when no-one’s watching.
  2. Build an audience: You won’t have to buy their attention, you’ll have earned it, so they’ll give it to you.
  3. Out-teach your competition: Teaching = trust and respect.
  4. Emulate chefs: Share your “cookbook” (your IP).
  5. Go behind the scenes: Show people how your business works
  6. Nobody likes plastic flowers: Don’t be afraid to show your flaws.
  7. Press releases are spam: Be specific and personal with your approach to a journo.
  8. Forget about the Wall Street Journal: Niche media often produces higher levels of direct activity.
  9. Drug dealers get it right: Give a little away up front – they’ll come back for more.
  10. Marketing is not a department: Marketing is something everyone in your company is doing 24/7/365.
  11. The myth of the overnight sensation: “Trade the dream of overnight success for slow, measured growth.”

Hiring:

  1. Do it yourself first: That way you’ll understand the nature of the work.
  2. Hire when it hurts: What happens if you don’t hire to replace?
  3. Pass on great people: It is much worse to have people on staff who aren’t doing anything meanful.
  4. Strangers at a cocktail party: Hire slowly.
  5. Resumes are ridiculous: Use a cover letter and what they’ve actually shipped.
  6. Years of irrelevance: Experience is irrelevant – what matters is how well they do it.
  7. Forget about formal education: Classroom smart doesn’t necessarily give you what you need.
  8. Everybody works: Small team means everyone has to do work, not delegate it.
  9. Hire managers of one: Motivated people set manage themselves.
  10. Hire great writers: Clear writing = clear thinking.
  11. The best are everywhere: Use people from all over the world, then meet in person every now and again.
  12. Test drive employees: You only really get to know someone when you work side by side with them.

Damage control:

  1. Own your bad news: Acknowledge, Apologise, Act.
  2. Speed changes everything: Answer quickly and personally.
  3. How to say you’re sorry: Accept responsibility, use “I”.
  4. Put everyone on the front lines: Don’t protect the people doing the work from customer feedback.
  5. Take a deep breath: Listen to complaints about change then take a breath before you respond/change again.

Culture:

  1. You don’t create a culture: You live and breathe it, then it will happen.
  2. Decisions are temporary: You can change a decision when the circumstances change.
  3. Skip the rockstars: Create a great workplace, and you’ll attract great people.
  4. They’re not thirteen: Treat staff with respect and trust – it will be reciprocated.
  5. Send people home at 5: You don’t need more hours, you need better hours.
  6. Don’t scar on the first cut: Don’t create a policy straight away – communicate first.
  7. Sound like you: Write, talk like you do to a specific person/target.
  8. Four letter words: Easy, Need, Can’t – don’t use ’em.
  9. ASAP is poison: Save your urgency for when you truly need it.

Conclusion:

  1. Inspiration is perishable: Take it and use it when it’s there, because it won’t be forever.